To be clear, I am demiromantic bisexual. I am not speaking as a spokesperson for the LGBTQ community. This is my perspective.
The LGBT community wants representation. In recent decades, the western media failed pretty epically with their 'rep'. Boiling down what LGBT people actually want - their love and stories told without fetishizing and diminishing them as people or the characters - into snatches of background kisses, no love, no story, no context. All the rep the queer community wants is to show they exist, not as a forefront or a backseat, but there existing like normal. Having a background extras kiss that can be easily erased in international releases is not representation. Ahh, virtue signaling at its finest.
A good example of not virtue-signaling and normalization without forcing it down people's throats would be that Arthur episode with Ratburn marrying his man. The entire episode dedicated to the kids trying to break up the supposed engaged couple, Ratburn and his older sister until they realized their mistake at the wedding when they see he isn't marrying his sister but Patrick, the chocolatier they met days earlier. All we see of the couple was them walking down the aisle and dancing. No kissing, no hugging, no coming outs in-universe. That's it. It didn't focus entirely on the couple because the point of the entire series was about the kids and their perception. Possibly we might in the future get a limelight episode on their relationship. Now it does run into the problem of 'Dumbledore gay' thing, but all I can think of is that it's the point of view of the child who is not likely to know personal stories.
Not all queer stories have to deal with coming-outs and discrimination. I can’t believe I have to say this but the queer community all over the world does not have the same thoughts and feelings based on culture. For example, the Chinese queer community uses husband and wife as affection whereas the West made clear that it’s supposed to husband/wife and husband/wife for same-sex couples. I just have to get it out there so that the culture war and cultural imperialism doesn’t get dragged up again.
But it's enough for people to decry it when the episode doesn't force anything down. It's just a simple episode of kids trying to break up and misunderstanding the situation because they don't know anything nor try to ask. Homophobia is pervasive that it's not enough to pronounce someone's sexuality as straight as an arrow, they have to go and do crazy things like create conspiracy theories and made damn sure no one sees it. At the same time, they will use queerness as objects that bring them to fame in fandom as an example.
There is also a difference between wokeness and actually representing. Of course, it gets mixed up even when a particular series doesn't focus entirely on the said character's identity and making that the entire point. Seriously, it's frustrating to see stereotypes and just narrowing down a potentially complex or dynamic character into a one-note character who is defined entirely by their sexuality or race. So, people have to see the difference between these, especially when people genuinely want to provide the right kind of rep. A difference from fulfilling a fucking quota and genuinely wanting rep for the marginalized that is natural.
Of course, don’t narrow down a character to their sexuality alone when potential for dynamic and complexity is right there! I know it’s hard to find queer stories without Bury Your Gays but complexity and flaws that these characters are human is another part the queer community wants! Complex characters, not every queer story now being demonized for not having a happy ending or perfect characters! Just complexity, dynamic and flawed human beings that queerness do inform their identity. Not happy perfect creations that do no wrong like how women are being portrayed in media nowadays.
The problem with the wokeness right now was that people did the bare minimum. Casting black or Asian actors does not mean the script isn't racist. Emily in Paris and Mulan 2020 shows just how the so-called rep isn't done well by people who don't make the effort, especially in a time where Americans are becoming more disillusioned with their nation and nationalism in general. Emily in Paris is especially cringing since the main lead is just so ignorant and entitled she expects France to bows to her needs instead of her bowing to another country's culture. I want to travel the world, especially in places I want to vacation so badly in, so I make the effort to learn respectfully about the culture and experience of how the locals live and where they go to eat and celebrate.
I also want to point out while BL does have troubling tropes, I have to point out BL has been a long-established genre, and women finding satisfaction in it is not wrong. I don't want anyone to hurt any of the BL writers of the medium anime, manga, novels, etc. We shouldn't hurt the people. I saw people criticizing the C-BL writers like MXTX calling them homophobic written by a straight woman. Because I have long exposure to BL, I am willing to let this go and say this: women, keep your gravy train rolling because Intl readers weren't really the target. Intl fans, let women have their satisfaction. BL has problematic tropes that are definitely homophobic and to blame the women just because it titillates them is awful. Wouldn't men find the girl-on-girl-is-hot just bad then? Because I haven't seen any backlash on that end? At the end of the day what truly harms the LGBT community is not fiction but the homophobia and all the horrors that came with it. Yes, I'm pretty sure they don't like being fetishized for titillation when it's a thing that happens and probably systematic just like what happens to black rock and hip-hop all over the world; I should send you to Sideways for that. Certain members and other people may complain about it but BL is not going away. What I criticize about the genre is just how rapey and abusive the tropes are but I accepted it and just wanted better stories, rather than just sex and rape over and over again, all I just want is to have a fulfilling story that has the tropes actually highlighted and make damn sense in the story it is telling. Do I have to say that the Bara and yuri genre is enjoyed by the Japanese queer community?
At the end of the day, CQL is still a modified BL drama and everyone knows it in China. Well except for those who don't know its original source that is. Yes, there are things CQL had done better than the original novel. But regardless of arguments, CQL, Immortality, and Guardian are still modified BL series and it will stand that way.
I want those people to look at themselves and see that for all their talk, they're not actually walking the walk. Thinking they're actually making history when what they're doing is just filling up history books by those historians pointing out their queerbaiting and failed attempts.
Here's the thing. Whether people are outspoken or not, do not think that just because people haven't spoken up earlier doesn't make them bad people. I have seen enough on Twitter that I only go there for the memes and to check people if they update regularly. I don't think Taylor Swift is a bad person for not speaking up earlier for the LGBT community, but her attempts at support make me facepalm when her song essentially made a farce out of people's struggles. I don't think Safiya Nygaard is a bad person for not speaking up about BLM but based on her character, do you really think she wouldn't support BLM when in her videos, she's respectful in her trips to Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong? I don't get it why Safiya is getting backlash when if you see her videos, you would think it's a no-brainer. And y'know what? The mob moved on anyway.
Representation is presenting a love story existing without diminishing and fetishizing the couple and their individual characters; don't boil them down to just getting them on a bed, just tell their stories and if the sex makes a relevant part of their story, make sure it is connected. You can tell and show queer sex stories but don't boil them down to random porn without rhyme or reason. This is shown wonderfully in Love, Simon and Untamed, a fucking censored Chinese drama that fought tooth and nail for rep. Just look at the Lan Library scene where they actually kept the porn book scene, except switching out the heterosexual porn pictures for a gay porn one.
What the LGBT community had to do to get some kind of rep was for them to be in a position of power so they can tell these stories. Telling powerful stories of not just coming outs but actual love stories that can stand head-to-head with other romances of the ages like Jane Austen's beautiful books. I still adore Pride and Prejudice to this day. The movie adaptations aren't that great but decent to be watchable.
That's what we need. Stories of queer characters and their love stories that show their mutual affection and altruistic willingness to fight for each other. Probably even the world if they have to for their love. The story can be epic like Untamed's Wangxian, spanning two decades and war and moonlight fights, or small like Simon's love story. Queer characters can be killed off but only if their deaths don't narrow them down to their sexuality as all Bury Your Gays does. That's what VLD did to one character and what makes it worse was the fact they advertised him heavily that if you haven't caught up to the Word of God, you wouldn't have known the character was supposed to be gay. Hell, I could tell that it could be a best friend if you haven't told people that the character is queer. That is bad, not only queerbaiting but also bad storytelling. Don't negate everything else of a character if you want to kill off a queer character but to narrow it down to their sexuality and make that their character like VLD did to that one-bit character that only has two appearances and died is bad and wrong.
It's great China and Korea now has many more BL dramas as a result of CQL showing them how they can play with the law while keeping everybody safe. Without getting into too much of BL and its adjacent of LGBT, it is great to see stories to exist. In China and Korea especially, even BL stories can be seen as something queer. Seriously, while there are K-dramas about queers in the past, one hasn't been quite as mainstream as When Your Eyes Linger.
On an aside note, CP or RPS happens in every fandom known to name, especially in China that happens regularly. Even to married people. Most does it for fun, impossible pairing they know will never happen just so the fan can plug themselves in that lady's shoes, etc. However, CP needs to come from something be it chemistry or simply starring. The newest BL Immortality seemed to be taking a lot from CQL BTS where fans and people absolutely love, especially BJYX. However, copying the BTS or scripting a BTS just ruins the point of a BTS. A major part of BJYX's success was a culmination of the BTS and after the filming where the chemistry was undeniable. And whatever mess the Immortality thing has is scripted all because CQL shows it's done when the production team did was just hit jackpot with their two leads having so much chemistry.
Because these stories do exist and need to be told. I don't expect any queer couple to write a book about their romance. I mean I heard the story of Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black's story and all they have are interviews. Yes, I am going to bring up this as a rebuttal about queer age difference relationships to anybody saying differently.
Actual queer stories instead of queers injecting themselves in stories. I don't care about this. The huge bisexual Shang thing is huge even though I don't think other people will see it that way; remember, it's not homophobia, maybe they just don't personally see it and headcanon it or they simply don't believe it in their hearts. I have seen stories where they injected this in stories that have no business being viewed as such in another culture that definitely has true stories. Ugh, the western perception of Naoto Shirogane makes me want to pet my dog for an entire day. It isn't wrong to do such a thing but one has to be real careful about doing this just because there aren't enough queer stories out there. Especially when it's another culture that has its own views.
It is not wrong to inject queerness in stories when in the past there is so little but one has to be careful about it when it's in another culture that has true stories. I have seen Japanese stories that are undoubtedly for the Japanese people misinterpreted in a Western lens and not just because of its localization. This well-meaning but misguided view for a foreign product is cultural imperialism and in the culture war that we're in right now, that's the last thing we need.
Besides, assuming straight until otherwise is homophobia. Like, after a while, I stopped caring about people's sexual orientation and just want them to happy, whatever they choose. I don't care about anyone's sexual orientation. I would want to know their orientation if I wish to enter a relationship. For example, if Wang Yibo's gay, then good for him. When Eugene from the Try Guys came out as gay officially, even though his friends say he's gay, but to the rest of the world they don't know which he falls into, I personally don't care whether or not he's gay or bi or pan or whatever, he's still Eugene. Coming out may help one's mentality and others since he seems much more relaxed in episodes since his coming out to the public at large.
Queer people exist in countries that outright ban representation or behavior to preserve an image. Some queers are even open about themselves but felt no need to air it, out but not out, y'll get me? I have my suspicions about certain Asian celebs this way.
While there are out Asian celebs (see Holland for example), there are many others who are not quite out but out to the people who knew them. This is why I believe Exo knew Sehun is gay since their offhanded comments basically say it all. This is why I can see Sehun's relationship with that chef Suke. Queer celebs who come out couldn’t take the pressure and something terrible befallen them, sometimes by their own hands. Building a base of respect before coming out is the realistic path for now for Asian celebs, particularly idols. Well unless they make it part of their image upon debut, probably fitting in social norms
Unfortunately, Korea is only willing to play out m/m pairs out as fanservice. Even the idols know this is practically there unless they are truly uncomfortable or refused to do it. It's already bad enough when idols like Sehun blatantly put out obvious signs to be heard in some capacity, but it's another for their fans to ignore them just because they wanted that fantasy of girlfriend dating. There is no way in an industry like Kpop doesn't have any queers in it. That is impossible.
RPS is a huge thing in the East, particularly Korea and China. Taekook is actually the most popular BTS ship over there as does BJYX. I'm a clown on the latter but I'm still hesitant about the former; from what I saw, there are far more overt things that indicate they are a couple than BTS which has the case of being in the same band. Apparently, having the covers of BFFs certainly protects them from being outed or even being seen as a romantic couple that definitely isn't BFF behavior. Even when Wang Yibo can't publically wish Xiao Zhan a happy birthday without backlash because that is how much his fans hate his association with Xiao Zhan and paints them as enemies when that's so far from the truth while his other CQL castmates like Xuan Lu wished him a happy birthday just fine. Then again, they are willing to paint him as a horrible person just so he doesn't associate with XZ. While the West discouraged it, the East promotes it via doing skinship or just doing anything really even when they are not progressive. Seriously, Wang Yibo is shipped with his married colleagues. Weibo has RPS supertopics that the actors can in fact close; see Xiao Zhan closing his with Marius Wang. It's fine knowing these people are friends and knew they have to do this for the funsies but it's another when the idols might, in fact, be queer. This is why the refusal to partake in fanservice raises alarm bells for people; either they made damn sure they are friends and outright spoke out about it, only using 'fanservice' to say just how close they are - see BTS - or they are hiding a relationship - see BJYX. And the companies or people doing things to erase evidence that might as well implicate a more romantic edge than a BFF edge - see XZ trying to remedy a situation instead of playing along since many pointed out they wouldn't have given a glance for XZ's weirdness towards an innocent question. And there's nothing wrong with these people being BFFs. Hell, people take fanservice knowing that these guys are only doing it partly because they are comfortable and BFFs, not knowing that some idols might be queer and have mixed feelings about doing such a thing.
Fanservice is a confusing thing since it will be hard to distinguish even when queer idols do participate, it's hard to tell whether or not it's genuine or friends being friends. What took convincing for me for Sehun and BJYX was the many little things because the little things that can't be explained away as mere coincidence when it kept happening. I'm sure in the BJYX fandom, the word coincidence is getting tired of itself. Probably the easiest fanservice to detect would be the Thai BL fanbase who has loads of stories to tell you about how their BL actors continued to play the fanservice well after their show or movie ended. One fandom has the actors going at it for five fucking years but everyone knows they are bros. I mean it's great to know these guys are pals years afterward and having fun even when the fanservice isn't useful. People wanted BJYX and BTS to stay friends for life that has nothing to do with RPS. And that’s getting into the problem that people shipped them because they are unlikely to get together because they’re men thus allowing people to put them in the shoes. It’s one thing if you know they are pals but it's another when one has to be open-minded about assuming sexuality.
So to seek apart 'shipping' from actually supporting a queer couple and people that I have no way of knowing because the slim chance of meeting them and getting to know them is so not happening is the theory of probability. Check the available info and make the judgment from the data. Does it have a chance in hell of happening? Can it occur because of the weirdness or is it just a weird coincidence? What draws the line between BFF and romantically involved? Just because they're men and marketed as the ideal boyfriend to the gf fans does not negate their sexuality and SO. Just because they might've got girlfriends in the future does not negate their sexuality. For me, they are queer and that's that. They do whatever they do.
Okay, I'm just going to call these fans gf fans and rant about them. Probably the most mature of these idol fans have to be BigBang. It has to be growing up with them and at one point, they worry about Taeyang's single status when his groupmates are either married or have an SO. They were glad when they saw that he met the love of his life and wished them all the happiness when they made public and wondered when they're going to marry.
These fans lashed out initially at their idol's SO and I'm saying SO here because I'm not going to assume sexualities. There have to be queers in every industry known to man in every country, out or not. Fans are the ones who usually see odd stuff like seeing an idol suddenly wearing a brand they never wore before now for example and would have suspicions. It does help that their groupmates or the people in their personal lives would drop hints that they're taken. That part is telling more so than the main couple since these guys know. And it's obvious when these guys do it, especially when their excuses don't make any sense. It's even more evident when they used to matchmake whoever starlet then stopped doing it.
These gf fans are a major demographic for idols and a reason why Asian idols tend to hide their relationships for multiple reasons. Yes, it's not just the queer idols in this, but also the hets who wanted the chance to date.
Let these idols have their SO. Fantasies are fine as long as they stay fantasies, but to actually lash out on their SO, instead of being happy for them, is wrong.
And let me tell you that fans can compile coincidences that can only be explained in either a not-heterosexual or a couple ways. Seriously, matching clothes or items is how fans can tell which celeb is dating which celeb. There is so much evidence of this not just in many fandoms who managed to decipher and compiled whether or not their idol is queer or not single anymore. These fans who see these things will either get defensive for various reasons. And the least of which is the fantasies that their idol is dating them and have them in mind.
I'm sorry but these gf fans should realize their boundaries. Their fantasies are fine as long as they are just pretending and realized these guys they're admiring have private lives that they wish to not share and that includes the sexuality that is no business of theirs. And sometimes they don't need their help.
And I think I need to talk about gaydar. While my gaydar hasn't been tested that much, my gaydar is blaring that Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan are Not Straight. Probably another example would be Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch, while I am sure they won't mind portraying gay characters, hell BC portrays queers in media multiple times, they just don't give me the feeling they are Not Straight.
However, gaydar is not always right when it can be clouded by judgment. There are gay macho men just as there are straight effeminate men. Remember, these are 'traditionally' 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits. Eugene can be described as an effeminate man with his love for fashion and drag, but he's just as competitive (though he cooled down on this one since while he seemed more relaxed after his coming out, he seemed to want to beat YB at eating spicy stuff at the highest level available) and a hard drinker. The same could be said about Wang Yibo, a guy who loves motorcycles and skateboarding yet he wears women's clothing to events and sparkly jewelry. Everyone has their 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits. There are guys in the fucking military army fanboyed hard when it comes to Twice. I know girls who love hardcore extreme sports. I know gay guys who like girl groups as much as lesbians like boybands.
Queers do exist everywhere. Just because there are laws censoring their rep on media doesn't mean they can't make history. Just because one has to be more subtle with their storytelling shows just how much they can take the laws and play with them.
Do you really think laws will keep the LGBT community down on its knees? No! They are still fighting for their rights and some of them even used the laws to circumvent it so they can pursue such rep.
And of course, LGBT people in positions of power be it a celebrity or a politician, will make due. Young starlets are unlikely to come out early in Asia, not when they want to keep their fanbase, respect, and future opportunities. When they are much older, they have a chance to come out, especially when they are dating someone.
While in the west, being queer is celebrated for the most part. There is still homophobia involved which is why it took many stars like Ricky Martin so long to come out with the undeniable fact of beards. Again, there is still the problem of just devolving one's character to just their sexuality and identity, a huge problem when the point of the movements of feminism and the LGBT was to see them as human beings with rights. In the west, idols have their SOs aren't so different, except in some cases where they are deemed the Yoko Ono. I mean Justin Beiber, Ariana Grande, and Taylor Swift have their SOs.
Asian queers, for now, would want to see themselves represented but they have to deal with it in subtle ways. For example, they can tell their stories if they know to keep it subtle and make it a damn good story as in the case of the manga where the Japanese queer community telling their stories because of the medium it offered. There might be even queers writing their own BL stories in many Asian countries.
However, the virtue-signaling is pushing back the movement. Seriously, saying one thing but their actions say otherwise, using it as a shield when it's supposed to be a shield for the actual marginalized... ugh, just thinking about it makes me sad. It's already bad enough the movement was one step forward then two steps back repeatedly. There are still achievements like normalization even if it's only in the background. And listen, I hate that there is no love or context behind these randos in the background that can be easily removed. That is not progressive. What is progressive to the mentality of what-survives-of-us-is-love that can be shown in the best gay stories in the midst of the prevalent homophobia.
Idols have a different set of rules, especially in Asia, where gf fans are the major demographic. Even straight relationships that have a wife and kid, new ones too, can be backlashed, forcing these happy guys to come out to apologize when they shouldn't apologize for their own happiness and not their fans' selfishness. Queer idols might get it even worse since these gf fans might have fantasies about two idols but if there is something real or the potential thereof, there might be lashing out or a negative reaction at most. Just look at Wang Yibo's solo fans when they realized the implications who he dedicated the song Nan Hai to a guy, not a girl and the hotpot matter where they utterly refused to discuss. And this is an idol whose image was a cool guy as a straight guy because all idols have that straight image to preserve the image of 'dating' the fan.
This forced all idols to hide their relationships just so they won't lose their careers until they get at least a stable standing. This is a major reason why most Asian celebs won't come out until they have that. At the least.
And even that stable standing won't be able to get far when even heterosexual idols who wanted a wife and family basically have to apologize to their selfish 'fans'. I'm pretty sure that deep inside, these idols don't even regret their decisions to marry the love of their lives and having a family they always wanted and only apologizing to appease their rabid gf fans.
There are idols are who are out like Holland but he's a special case since he made it his image and lots of his songs dealt with his struggles as a queer guy.
Other idols don't have that opportunity when they were so young when they entered the industry or learned about it from an outsider point of view. For example, Xiao Zhan, who I'm pretty sure is Not Straight, lived as a civilian until he entered it in his mid-twenties because he wanted to pursue his original dream as a singer. And he chose the idol position. As a civilian who has access to see how the Kpop idol industry and the Asian industry workings from the outside, he must have known the dangers going in. Probably to his friends and his family and even his current lover, he's already out for example and the rest of the world and most importantly, his fans, won't be able to tell.
If even straight dating openly can ruin your career or put on pause at the least, then actually being queer and ruining the image of 'dating' the 'fan' and 'fantasies' of MXM sexualization bl thing.
Don't you know what is worse? Any idol interacting with a woman would be 'scandal' material while with a man that has the potential to be romantic was deemed 'delusional'. It has the protection of private lives but I'm sure most would prefer to be out and loud just like any other rich person's relationship.
On the upside, Dispatch, Korea's TMZ, wouldn't even release any queer couples' info, rumors or otherwise. Amazing since they are so willing to ruin het idol relationships in a time that jeopardized their careers they worked so hard for. And that is all the compliments I can give to Dispatch for that for being mindful about LGBT rights in Korea. On the other hand, one has to be careful about Dispatch. There might be fake relationships for the benefit of the companies covering up or diverting some shit, rumors that have to be taken as rumors, outright lies, or might even be truths if sensationalized. By the end of the day, Dispatch is a tabloid but one that has the power to literally destroy careers, unlike TMZ where they obviously have no power. And all of this because of the Kpop gf/bf fans who will react poorly no matter what to their idol dating or marrying somebody. Dispatch has power over the incessant fans who will believe a tabloid, particularly the gf/bf fan variety.
While China can't even discuss LGBT in news format in any way, only in Weibo and their other platforms. While it does provide plausible deniability for the queer idols and celebs about their relationships, they can only speak out on their platforms that are not news, TV, and streaming. Movies are the last bastion for Chinese queer media and most of them are indies. I don't know what is worse, Dispatch has power over fans who has visceral reactions or no discussing at all but try to toe the line with subtlety and overtness as they can get away with.
Asian celebs, especially younger ones, won't be coming out at least in this lifetime and not in the thundering momentum of the West where we get LGBT celebs left and right coming out with their personal stories and love stories. Just look at Tom Daley and his coming out and look where he is now, happily married to the man of his dreams and a family.
In the future, I think Asians might be growing tolerant due to the younger generations' beliefs and will take a while for acceptance.
We have to work with tolerance for now in Asian countries which the queer community over there is fighting hard for acceptance and their rights. And it's not just Asia, it's the Middle East, Africa, and so forth for their rights and acceptance.
All I can hope for now is the Asian celebs that are in the closet that are either out to the precious loved ones in their lives or have rumors bubbling will have that love of their lives that will support them through thick and thin and while they are grateful for fans, they also know a certain demographic of their fan clubs are gf fans who might not even accept the love of their lives.
And that they don't have to apologize for them but for their own happiness.
On a side note, if it's really true that at least three or four men in the list of most handsome men in Asia are queer and off the market currently, it's hilarious because they truly are planning a future together with their current SO who is a man. While still being appreciative of their fans. Who will react, but only a minority? Just look at the Chen protest that only a few women appeared. So yeah, I'll be cackling over here over the shattered gf dreams.
